I Say 'I am an ALCOHOLIC' because...

Here's a chunk of a recent conversation from Facebook 

(The picture is...) Jeremiah Charles I like it better when I read you referring to yourself as "sober" vs. that labeling of yourself as an "alcoholic". It sounds like a more positive and constructive way to view yourself. 

Psychologically, is that not more and better geared toward the result that you intend? 

It's always struck me as very dis-empowering the way some will constantly place that negative image in their subconscious mind daily and then struggle to break free from it. 

Sorry if I sound in a way I do not intend to sound. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I appreciate you and all that you do and am only coming from a place of wanting the best for you and yours :-)

and Jeremiah continued...

Just thinking of so many times hearing people identifying themselves with the label of what they don't want for themselves. Not as a starting point, but as a permanent part of who they are in perpetuity.

It just seems to be the opposite of everything we learn about how the mind works.

This Jeremiah is clearly NOT a bull frog <smile>. Rather a sensitive sort I would have agreed with completely some five months ago. But not now. Here's why. (Learned with grateful acknowledgment to the authors of the "Big Book" for their pioneering effort & insghts.)

And please NOTE: I am neither a medical doctor nor an experienced counselor and I am not an expert on alcoholic-anything except my own experience. That said...

Alcoholism is a disease of body & mind, which combines a physical allergy with a mental obsession. There are many in the world who believe being an alcoholic is a choice people have and that it's a matter of will-power to quit drinking or not. They are wrong.

Ask members of the medical profession and a few million recovering alcoholics and you will learn how very mistaken that point of view is.

Mini "Are You an Alcoholic?" Quiz:

1. If when you start your day committed to not taking a drink, do you end your day have kept that commitment— or did you drink? (The alcoholic will almost always drink. I did.)

2. When you begin drinking can you set a limit or intention on how many drinks you will have and have just that many— or do you have more. (The alcoholic will almost always have more— frequently LOTS more. I did.)

3. Once you start drinking can you stop at anytime— or will you have to be forced to stop, i.e.: you pass out, get sick, land in jail, etceteras.  (The alcoholic will almost always stop ONLY when forced to. I did.)

Heavy drinkers who are NOT alcoholic (but may become one) can drink and drink and drink, BUT they CAN not drink when they choose. They CAN set a limit before hand and stick to it and they CAN stop at anytime, everytime. An alcoholic canNOT do those things. 

An alcoholic has a craving for alcohol that is never satisfied. Tolerance usually increases over time, as does the amount the alcoholic can drink. Normal people do not do this. When they've had enough, they quit drinking or they get sick and stop. When an alcoholic has too much to drink, and gets sick, after the sickness of the moment passes, they'll pick up another drink.

You can commit an alcoholic to a hospital or institution, force him or her to go throught treatment & painful withdrawel, and threaten them with jail, a life of disability and/or death... and in a number of days they will be drunk again. 

The dream of almost EVERY alcoholic is that eventually they will be able to have a drink, or two, and control their drinking and their lives. 

The fact for almost EVERY alcoholic is that there is no cure. Once an alcoholic— a REAL one— always. The "first drink" is suicide. The number of cases that prove this are as abundant as they are heart-breaking and life-taking. 

Again: Alcoholism is a disease of body & mind, which combines a physical allergy with a mental obsession.

"My name is John and I am an alcoholic," is a statement of fact. It is a declaration that OPENS the possibilities of living one-day-at-a-time, sober, free, whole & complete, with my wife & kids and my life back & work, celebrating the miracle GOD gave me when He stopped my drinking again. (And believe me, GOD did it. NOT me. I had tried for years. And, it IS a miracle.) 

And it CLOSES the possibilities that I will ever drink again.

Step 1. We admitted we were powrless over alcohol— and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understood Him.

The Gift of Despairation and A Miracle.

"My name is John and I am an alcoholic," and although not "proud of it" in the conventional sense, I am increasingly grateful that's who & what I AM.

______________________________

Please, let me know what you think & feel in the Comments box...

Thanks.
I appreciate you!

 

 

 

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Comments

[Tony Rush]

Fascinating. I have no experience with alcoholism personally and only a little within my personal friends.

Thoughts that come to mind:

1. Firstly -- and foremost -- I love who you're choosing to be. You've always been an inspiration and -- even though I wasn't aware of your struggles with alcohol -- I'm inspired by your openness and your decision to deal with it.

You rock. :)

2. Secondly, the mini- "are you an alcoholic quiz", if I were to put in the word "food" where you have the word "drink".....it would seem that one could make the argument that overeating is also a disease.

While that may well be true for a tiny minority....most of us who are overweight just aren't exercising the self-control required to manage our weight properly. At least I know that's true in my case.

So, I guess my thought is similar to Jeremiah's: what's the positive benefit to putting alcoholism in its own private little category of "choiceless addiction" away from other vices that are equally behavior-driven?

3. Two of the three steps that you've adopted for dealing with alcoholism apparently require you to believe in an invisible, supernatural being for whom no evidence exists and from which all his/her influences on our lives can be explained by other, rational, real-world causes.

I'm not making an argument for atheism at all. But, I have to ask: given the almost TOTAL IMPORTANCE of getting free of alcohol's reign on your life.....what's the thinking behind believing in supernaturalism as a means to that end?

Proud of you brother!

Tony

[John Fogg]

TR— thrilled you're here! N kidding.

Your "believing in supernaturalism..." isn't how I hold it. My believing is in a power greater than myself. I call that power GOD. I give GOD the credit for taking away my desire/need to drink long enough for me to straighten out that part. NOw, my journey is one of expanding GOD in my life & work.

My life "had" become unmanageable. I tried (and tried and tried) to do it myself to no avail. One night, as if by magic, I quit. Next day, I wanted, but didn't. Still on occasionally do Haven't for 134 days. I choose to call it a miracle and I "blame" the Source of Creation for it.

Works for me.

And that makes me a deluded whatever (and I didn't say you said that)— then whatever I shall be. I ask. I pray. Miracles (little ones so far, mostly). I study (Christ's teachings, Emmett Fox, others... ANYthing I can get my head & heart around that will help me let Ceaser have his shi- and GOD have the good stuff .

Tony, I cannot make a tree. GOD (name it/he/she whatever) was & is the Source of it and ALL Else. I'm all about tapping into THAT and letting the chips fall. So far... I'm sober, got my wife & life back (for now ), and I'm focused on "THY WILL not my will be done." So far, my results are WAY better than on my will.

I'll keep you posted, so to speak

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you— lots.

[Jeremiah Charles]

Apologies about the delay. I wanted to make sure I was "present" when replying.

I appreciate what you are saying and, again, am glad you are licking this affliction...or at least the symptoms. Upon reading it, again doing so again, one thing struck me. It sounded very familiar. And it sounded familiar because I have had this discussion with another AA member(?) not too long ago and his response bore striking similarities. When I hear something like this, I take a step back.

I did a little digging (not an exhaustive search) and found some information about alcohol allergies. They do not seem to have anything to do with addiction and the symptoms are different than what one would identify with what is commonly known as an "alcoholic". And, while I do understand that you and those in similar circumstances would do well to steer clear of alcohol to avoid spiraling out of control like you have said you do, it seems to me through observation and a little research, that the alcohol is only the means to the end and that it is merely a symptom of an underlying issue in the body. It seems that, without actually addressing this causal factor, that removing one substance is not fully addressing it and you may seek another addicting behavior to replace the old one, albeit perhaps less damaging. For instance, I knew a man once who had this issue and told me that it ran in his family. Most of the ones afflicted sought alcohol, some drugs. One particular uncle of his was a teetotaler on religious grounds, being a Southern Baptist preacher, or some such. It so happens that, while he did not indulge in drunkenness or drug use, he had an overwhelming urge to overindulge in chocolate! He couldn't get enough of the stuff! So, this is kind-of what I am getting at with this whole subject. I truly believe that AA, while good intentioned, unnecessarily demonizes alcohol itself and does not address what causes such ones to have such a reaction to it and other substances. And, by doing so, they keep the person trapped in a cycle of self-flagellation like an Opus Dei priest who wakes up every morning and flogs himself with the label "alcoholic" and psychologically keeps people dependent on their group and it's fraternal support system.

Forgive me if I am crossing any lines between us. It is not my intent to undermine any recovery you are going through. And, while I have experienced things related to this vicariously through others close to me, it is not something I personally deal with, so I am approaching this strictly in an objective, academic sense. At the same time, I just have concern that ones like yourself are not getting the best treatment possible to help in a more lasting way. Does what I am saying make sense? I hope you don't take this as me trying to debate you on the issue or be argumentative. If it is better to do so, this can end here. And, my apologies for my lack of writing skills, as I know I am addressing a master :-)