Technology >> Empathy. Imagine the possibilities.

It's "The Mirror Game"...

Bestselling author, political adviser and social and ethical prophet Jeremy Rifkin investigates the evolution of empathy and the profound ways that it has shaped our development and our society.

So, what will it take for you & me to "Bring out our Empathetic Sociability" and create a new Civilization?

The question is THE answer... 

Thanks to Rabbi Shafir "Candy" Lobb for the turn on.

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Positive affirmations are a waste of time. Okay, but don't tell...

Jessica.

What do you imagine this person will be like when she's 16...? 6o...? Btw, that first line is "I am a shark." Look out Mama!

You'll find more of Jessica on YouTube here: dmchatster's channel. And thanks to Josephine Gross for the turn on.

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You ARE the Change You Want To See In the World & Science Proves It.

Got turned on to this by friend & coach Mike Lewis on Facebook. Mike posted the video commenting how much he liked the man's style. I commented in return: "Agreed (as to style) and I appreciate the information. NOT sure about all of his conclusions."

"That said, 'The Question IS the Answer' and the man inspires some great questions. Thanks Mike. I appreciate you (and now I know the Earth does, too <smile>)"

So, in this video [10:04],  Gregg Braden "takes us on a short trip through consciousness that connects our feelings and our mass reality." We ARE connected, he says and today science proves it.

Our Feelings (emotions?) can change the electro-magnetic field of ourselves and the planet. Hmmmm. What do you think?

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In Your Search For Meaning... Aim High

I was turned on to this rare clip from 1972 today from the marvelous folks at TED.com. It's legendary holocaust survivor & psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search For Meaning, is speaking to an audience of students in Canada delivering a message about our search for meaning. Aim high. You'll see.

______________________________

Love to learn what you appreciate most about this...

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The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self

I'm reading a new (for me) book, The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self is co-authored by Debbie Ford, Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson. It's promise is to complete your Authentic Self by "acknowledging" your dark side and to "shed light on your shadow to help you deal with it with compassion, instead of fear.

What follows is Debbie Ford's Introduction for the book.

______________________________

The conflict between who we are and who we want to be is at the core of the human struggle. Duality, in fact, lies at the very center of the human experience. Life and death, good and evil, hope and resignation coexist in every person and exert their force in every facet of our lives. If we know courage, it is because we have also experienced fear; if we can recognize honesty, it is because we have encountered deceit. And yet most of us deny or ignore our dualistic nature.

If we are living under the assumption that we are only one way or another, inside a limited spectrum of human qualities, then we would have to question why more of us aren't wholly satisfied with our lives right now. Why do we have access to so much wisdom yet fail to have the strength and courage to act upon our good intentions by making powerful choices? And most important...

Why do we continue to act out in ways that go against our value system and all that we stand for?

We will assert that it is because of our unexamined life, our darker self, our shadow self where our unclaimed power lies hidden. It is here, in this least likely place, that we will find the key to unlock our strength, our happiness, and our ability to live out our dreams.

We have been conditioned to fear the shadow side of life and the shadow side of ourselves. When we catch ourselves thinking a dark thought or acting out in a behavior that we feel is unacceptable, we run, just like a groundhog, back into our hole and hide, hoping, praying, it will disappear before we venture out again. Why do we do this? Because we are afraid that no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to escape from this part of ourselves. And although ignoring or repressing our dark side is the norm, the sobering truth is that running from the shadow only intensifies its power. Denying it only leads to more pain, suffering, regret, and resignation. If we fail to take responsibility and extract the wisdom that has been hidden beneath the surface of our conscious minds, the shadow will take charge, and instead of us being able to have control over it, the shadow winds up having control over us, triggering the shadow effect. Our dark side then starts making our decisions for us, stripping us of our right to make conscious choices whether it's what food we will eat, how much money we will spend, or what addiction we will succumb to. Our shadow incites us to act out in ways we never imagined we could and to waste our vital energy on bad habits and repetitive behaviors.

Our shadow keeps us from full self-expression, from speaking our truth, and from living an authentic life.

It is only by embracing our duality that we free ourselves of the behaviors that can potentially bring us down. If we don't acknowledge all of who we are, we are guaranteed to be blindsided by the shadow effect.

The shadow effect is everywhere. Evidence of its pervasiveness can be seen in every aspect of our lives. We read about it online. We watch it on the nightly news, and we can see it in our friends, our family, and strangers on the street. And perhaps most significant, we can recognize it in our thoughts, see it in our behaviors, and feel it in our interactions with others. We worry that shining a light on this darkness will cause us to feel great shame or, even worse, to act out our worst nightmare. We become scared of what we will find if we look inside ourselves, so instead we bury our heads and refuse to face our shadow sides.

But this book reveals a new truth—shared from three life-changing perspectives—that the opposite of what we fear we will experience is what actually occurs. Instead of shame, we feel compassion. Instead of embarrassment, we gain courage. Instead of limitation, we experience freedom. 

If left unopened, the shadow is a Pandora's box filled with secrets that we fear will destroy everything we love and care about. But if we open the box, we discover that what's inside has the power to radically and positively alter our lives.

Then we will step out of the illusion that our darkness will overtake us and instead we will see the world in a new light. The compassion we discover for ourselves will ignite our confidence and courage as we open our hearts to those around us. The power we unearth will help us tackle the fear that has been holding us back and will urge us to move powerfully toward our highest potential. Far from frightening, embracing the shadow allows us to be whole, to be real, to take back our power, to unleash our passion, and to realize our dreams.

This book was born out of a desire to illuminate the many life-altering gifts of the shadow. In the following pages, each of us will approach the subject from our own unique perspective as teachers. Our intention is to provide a comprehensive, multi-lens understanding of how the shadow was born within us, how it functions in our lives, and most important, what we can do to discover the gifts of our true nature. We promise that after reading this book you will never think of your shadow self in the same way again.

In Part I, Deepak Chopra gives us a comprehensive overview of our dualistic nature and offers a prescription to return us to wholeness. A mind/body pioneer, Chopra has transformed millions of lives with his teachings. His holistic approach to the divisive nature of the shadow is both grounding and illuminating.

In Part II, I draw upon nearly fifteen years of teaching and leading The Shadow Process around the world to offer an accessible yet in-depth examination of the birth of the shadow, the role of the shadow in our everyday lives, and how we can reclaim the power and brilliance of our authentic nature.

In Part III, Marianne Williamson touches our hearts and minds with a provocative exploration of the connection between the shadow and the soul. A renowned international spiritual teacher, Marianne takes our hand and guides us through the bumpy terrain of the battle between love and fear.

Each of us comes with years of experience and a sincere hope that we can illuminate the shadow once and for all. For if we do not counter the force of the shadow and integrate its wisdom, it has the potential to continue to wreak havoc on our lives and our world. When we fail to admit to our vulnerabilities and recognize our bad behaviors, we will inevitably sabotage ourselves when we are on the verge of some personal or professional breakthrough. Then the shadow wins. When we act out of disproportionate anger in speaking to our children, the shadow wins. When we deceive our loved ones, the shadow wins. When we refuse to accept our true nature, the shadow wins. If we do not bring the light of our highest self to the darkness of our human impulses, the shadow wins. Until we accept all of who we are, the shadow effect will have the power to impede our happiness. If left unacknowledged, the shadow will stop us from being whole, prevent us from achieving our best-laid plans, and leave us living half a life. It is our hope in writing this book that we will bring the shadow into the light. There has never been a better time to create a new lexicon, to illuminate the shadow, and to finally understand what's been so difficult to see and hard to explain.

Shadow work, as described in this book, is more than a psychological process or an intellectual banter. It is a prescriptive solution to problems unsolved. It is a life-altering journey that goes beyond any psychological theory because it deems the dark side as a human issue, a spiritual issue that all of us must resolve in this lifetime if we are to live a fully self-expressed life. We will finally understand why we are no better and no worse than anyone else regardless of our color, our background, our sexual orientation, our genetic makeup, or our past. There is no one in the world who doesn't have a shadow, and when taken seriously and understood, the shadow can birth a new reality that will alter the way we feel about ourselves, the way we parent our children, the way we treat our partners, the way we interact with our community members, and the way we engage with other nations.

If we do not bring the light of our highest self to the darkness of our human impulses, the shadow wins. Until we accept all of who we are, the shadow effect will have the power to impede our happiness.

I believe that the shadow is one of the greatest gifts available to us. Carl Jung called it a "sparring partner"; it is the opponent within us that exposes our flaws and sharpens our skills. It is the teacher, the trainer, and the guide that supports us in uncovering our true magnificence. The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered but a fertile field to be cultivated. When we dig our hands into its rich soil, we will discover the potent seeds of the people we most desire to be. It is our sincere hope that you take this journey, for we know what's waiting inside.

______________________________

The "fullest" Website I've discovered about the book (the movie and lots more) is at Oprah.com. The book is at Amazon, Barnes &... probably everywhere. Let me know what you appreciate most about it.

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Your VALUES Are THE Most Important...

Your VALUES Are THE Most Important Things In Your Life & Work.

Experiencing & expressing Your Values is the key to Success, Satisfaction, Health, Wealth & Joy.

Read the (looooong) list below and see what Values are missing (not experienced... expressed... honored...) in your life & work. That's how we're starting the new & next 90-Day Challenge, because it's vital you get them back and live them every day. (There's lots more you can do with this list. The "missing" bit is a start.)

Here's the list (with BIG thanks to Connie Gremm).

1. Abundance
2. Acceptance
3. Accessibility
4. Accomplishment
5. Accuracy
6. Achievement
7. Acknowledgement
8. Activeness
9. Adaptability
10. Adoration
11. Adroitness
12. Adventure
13. Affection
14. Affluence
15. Aggressiveness
16. Agility
17. Alertness
18. Altruism
19. Ambition
20. Amusement
21. Anticipation
22. Appreciation
23. Approachability
24. Articulacy
25. Assertiveness
26. Assurance
27. Attentiveness
28. Attractiveness
29. Audacity
30. Availability
31. Awareness
32. Awe
33. Balance
34. Beauty
35. Being the best
36. Belonging
37. Benevolence
38. Bliss
39. Boldness
40. Bravery
41. Brilliance
42. Buoyancy
43. Calmness
44. Camaraderie
45. Candor
46. Capability
47. Care
48. Carefulness
49. Celebrity
50. Certainty
51. Challenge
52. Charity
53. Charm
54. Chastity
55. Cheerfulness
56. Clarity
57. Cleanliness
58. Clear-mindedness
59. Cleverness
60. Closeness
61. Comfort
62. Commitment
63. Compassion
64. Completion
65. Composure
66. Concentration
67. Confidence
68. Conformity
69. Congruency
70. Connection
71. Consciousness
72. Consistency
73. Contentment
74. Continuity
75. Contribution
76. Control
77. Conviction
78. Conviviality
79. Coolness
80. Cooperation
81. Cordiality
82. Correctness
83. Courage
84. Courtesy
85. Craftiness
86. Creativity
87. Credibility
88. Cunning
89. Curiosity
90. Daring
91. Decisiveness
92. Decorum
93. Deference
94. Delight
95. Dependability
96. Depth
97. Desire
98. Determination
99. Devotion
100. Devoutness
101. Dexterity
102. Dignity
103. Diligence
104. Direction
105. Directness
106. Discipline
107. Discovery
108. Discretion
109. Diversity
110. Dominance
111. Dreaming
112. Drive
113. Duty
114. Dynamism
115. Eagerness
116. Economy
117. Ecstasy
118. Education
119. Effectiveness
120. Efficiency
121. Elation
122. Elegance
123. Empathy
124. Encouragement
125. Endurance
126. Energy
127. Enjoyment
128. Entertainment
129. Enthusiasm
130. Excellence
131. Excitement
132. Exhilaration
133. Expectancy
134. Expediency
135. Experience
136. Expertise
137. Exploration
138. Expressiveness
139. Extravagance
140. Extroversion
141. Exuberance
142. Fairness
143. Faith
144. Fame
145. Family
146. Fascination
147. Fashion
148. Fearlessness
149. Ferocity
150. Fidelity
151. Fierceness
152. Financial independence
153. Firmness
154. Fitness
155. Flexibility
156. Flow
157. Fluency
158. Focus
159. Fortitude
160. Frankness
161. Freedom
162. Friendliness
163. Frugality
164. Fun
165. Gallantry
166. Generosity
167. Gentility
168. Giving
169. Grace
170. Gratitude
171. Gregariousness
172. Growth
173. Guidance
174. Happiness
175. Harmony
176. Health
177. Heart
178. Helpfulness
179. Heroism
180. Holiness
181. Honesty
182. Honor
183. Hopefulness
184. Hospitality
185. Humility
186. Humor
187. Hygiene
188. Imagination
189. Impact
190. Impartiality
191. Independence
192. Industry
193. Ingenuity
194. Inquisitiveness
195. Insightfulness
196. Inspiration
197. Integrity
198. Intelligence
199. Intensity
200. Intimacy
201. Intrepidness
202. Introversion
203. Intuition
204. Intuitiveness
205. Inventiveness
206. Investing
207. Joy
208. Judiciousness
209. Justice
210. Keenness
211. Kindness
212. Knowledge
213. Leadership
214. Learning
215. Liberation
216. Liberty
217. Liveliness
218. Logic
219. Longevity
220. Love
221. Loyalty
222. Majesty
223. Making a difference
224. Mastery
225. Maturity
226. Meekness
227. Mellowness
228. Meticulousness
229. Mindfulness
230. Modesty
231. Motivation
232. Mysteriousness
233. Neatness
234. Nerve
235. Obedience
236. Open-mindedness
237. Openness
238. Optimism
239. Order
240. Organization
241. Originality
242. Outlandishness
243. Outrageousness
244. Passion
245. Peace
246. Perceptiveness
247. Perfection
248. Perkiness
249. Perseverance
250. Persistence
251. Persuasiveness
252. Philanthropy
253. Piety
254. Playfulness
255. Pleasantness
256. Pleasure
257. Poise
258. Polish
259. Popularity
260. Potency
261. Power
262. Practicality
263. Pragmatism
264. Precision
265. Preparedness
266. Presence
267. Privacy
268. Proactivity
269. Professionalism
270. Prosperity
271. Prudence
272. Punctuality
273. Purity
274. Realism
275. Reason
276. Reasonableness
277. Recognition
278. Recreation
279. Refinement
280. Reflection
281. Relaxation
282. Reliability
283. Religiousness
284. Resilience
285. Resolution
286. Resolve
287. Resourcefulness
288. Respect
289. Rest
290. Restraint
291. Reverence
292. Richness
293. Rigor
294. Sacredness
295. Sacrifice
296. Sagacity
297. Saintliness
298. Sanguinity
299. Satisfaction
300. Security
301. Self-control
302. Selflessness
303. Self-reliance
304. Sensitivity
305. Sensuality
306. Serenity
307. Service
308. Sexuality
309. Sharing
310. Shrewdness
311. Significance
312. Silence
313. Silliness
314. Simplicity
315. Sincerity
316. Skillfulness
317. Solidarity
318. Solitude
319. Soundness
320. Speed
321. Spirit
322. Spirituality
323. Spontaneity
324. Spunk
325. Stability
326. Stealth
327. Stillness
328. Strength
329. Structure
330. Success
331. Support
332. Supremacy
333. Surprise
334. Sympathy
335. Synergy
336. Teamwork
337. Temperance
338. Thankfulness
339. Thoroughness
340. Thoughtfulness
341. Thrift
342. Tidiness
343. Timeliness
344. Traditionalism
345. Tranquility
346. Transcendence
347. Trust
348. Trustworthiness
349. Truth
350. Understanding
351. Unflappability
352. Uniqueness
353. Unity
354. Usefulness
355. Utility
356. Valor
357. Variety
358. Victory
359. Vigor
360. Virtue
361. Vision
362. Vitality
363. Vivacity
364. Warmth
365. Watchfulness
366. Wealth
367. Willfulness
368. Willingness
369. Winning
370. Wisdom
371. Wittiness
372. Wonder
373. Youthfulness
374. Zeal

______________________________

A PDF of these Values is here for download.

http://JohnMiltonFogg.com/90-DayChallenge/ValuesList.pdf

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Transforming Fear (Yes, you can)

Moved (house, home, home-offices, home-school). Mostly. <smile> Boxes here, there, lost & found. So... Thanks to Mistress Aine (pronounced "On ya") Belton (she's really great) who created the Belief Buster Kit for this excellent piece on the fear of fearing— and what to do about it. Enjoy.

Fear: Transforming Enemy into Ally

By Aine Belton

Fear is a natural human emotion and serves the function of protecting you from harm. We all have fears, on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels; everything from the fear of death, to the fear of humiliation, loneliness or rejection.

It is important to face your fears and learn from them. Befriend them rather than run away from them. They will not disappear if you ignore them and will subconsciously show up in your life, so you may as well have a look at them, listen to them and discover what they are telling you about the beliefs you hold.

(Over 11 specific exercises to identify limiting beliefs in any area are covered in the Belief Buster Kit workbook at this link)When you are conscious of your fears and the beliefs behind them, you are more able to release them and let them go, for it is what we resist that persists.You will find the more positive your beliefs are, the more confident you are in yourself and the world, and the more trusting and less fearful you will be.

What are your main fears? What fears grip you the most?

Rejection and abandonment?
Losing control?
Failure?
Being judged or disliked?
Loss of security (whatever that means to you, be that money, career, status, family, marriage)?
Loss of freedom?
Death?
Pain?
Betrayal?
Ridicule?
Success? (Yes, fear of success for some can be greater than the fear of failure)
Loss of beauty or youth?
Loss of Power?
Humiliation?
Being stifled or controlled?

What do your fears tell you about your beliefs about yourself, others and the world, your life-scripts, patterns and stories?

What fundamental assumptions lie behind them that could be transformed?

Do your fears come from beliefs in scarcity? Or negative beliefs about yourself, others or the world.

Many fears are based on negative past experiences that still haunt you and a fear they may re-occur.

Perhaps these experiences were many years ago in childhood and long forgotten consciously.

What happened to you that caused you pain or anxiety, be that physically or emotionally, that you consciously or unconsciously may still be afraid of happening today?

What beliefs were formed by these experiences, or what beliefs may have generated these experiences in the first place?

You may have taken on family patterns of fear, so be conscious about whether your fears are those your parents have held (and corresponding beliefs therein).

When you fear something you give it focus and attention and keep it more alive as a possibility. The more you fear something, the more you are telling yourself it is likely to happen.

Why do you fear it? What are the beliefs behind these fears?

If you fear being rejected in a relationship, for example, is it because you believe you do not deserve love and attention, that relationships don't last, that the people you love leave you, that you are not good enough, that men/ women are cold, uncaring, abandoning, non-committal, etc.?

If you have a strong fear about being burgled, mugged or robbed, do you believe the world is an unsafe place?

If you fear making a mistake, or being wrong, do you believe you are not enough, and hence strive for perfectionism to prove your worth.

If you fear loneliness, is it that you believe you are alone? That you do not yet understand that you are never alone and are ever connected to the loving source of creation, loved in every moment?

Sometimes you fear loneliness because you are disconnected from yourself. It is the very absence of you that creates the vacuous, empty feeling of loneliness.

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with."
- Wayne Dyer

Solitude can be a rewarding and empowering experience when you allow the presence of your being to be experienced, to sing through your consciousness radiating peace, joy, love, happiness and contentment.

In this connection to your grander truer self, to your spirit, to the wonder that you are, you feel vibrantly alive, open, loving, inspired, creative, visionary, at peace and centered.

(To connect to your Higher Self & receive spiritual guidance from within - go to this link for the Intuition Zone)

Back to your fears... If you fear betrayal, what beliefs do you hold around betrayal? Look to your past experiences for they will give you clues. Have you yourself betrayed someone or even yourself? And in what way? Do you fear betrayal from another because you have not yet resolved, come to peace with or forgiven the betrayer within you?

Sometimes what you fear happening to you from the outside is a shadow aspect of yourself that you have yet to acknowledge and forgive.

As you can see, your fears raise questions, offer clues and point in directions that enable you to reach greater understanding and self-awareness.

Of the many fears we experience in life, there are two core ones.

1. The fear of not being good enough/loveable, and all the feared consequences around that (rejection, abandonment, humiliation etc.)

2. The fear of loss (which can be connected to the first fear).

When you love and value yourself, other people do too, and if they don't, it does not bother you, because that's their problem, not yours!

You are not shaken by the opinions of others for you rest in the knowing of your own value and worth; the most solid ground you can stand on.

For this reason, positive self-beliefs are essential to your sense of confidence and inner-security.

The four-core limiting self-beliefs many people have, and how to change them, is covered in the Belief Buster Kit.

"We can only be afraid of what we believe we are - whatever there is in ourselves that we haven't met with understanding."

- Byron Katie

People are only thinking about you what you think they are thinking, and that ultimately reflects what you are thinking about yourself!

When you fear what other people think about you, you are actually afraid of what you may secretly believe about yourself. So, to reduce your fear in what other people think about you, face your own self-judgments, face your shadows, accept and forgive yourself for any perceived faults and realize they are not who you are.

You are not your negative self-concepts, beliefs, failings or mistakes. You are born of love, returning to love.

The fear of loss is a genuine fear that exists aside love. Trust and a connection to and awareness of the eternal love of your Higher Self and Creator can help assuage levels of this fear.

We are human, we love and we can experience loss and the grief and pain that accompanies that, whether that be an ending of a relationship or the death of a loved one, yet as the saying goes, 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'.

When it comes to the end of relationships, be they friendships or loved ones, letting go enables a rebirth and the experience of new love or a new relationship to enter your life at a higher level.

In truth, there is only ever change, and love will continue to show itself in your life in new faces and forms. If you let go of the past, trust and are open to the next step on your path, it will present itself.

When you do let go, which can involve grieving, either what you have let go of comes back if it is for your best, or something even better will enter your life. Facing and exploring your fears, which can include owning and feeling them, allows them to move through you and dissipate, leaving you feeling lighter and freer.

A healthy way to deal with your fears is to write them down. You'll be amazed at how doing this alone creates an immediate release. After writing them down I also suggest crossing them out, ripping up the paper and burning it for ultimate freedom. You will feel a great sense of release after.

It is the fears that you don't face or run away from that have the greatest hold over you. Be willing to face your fears. Feel them. Let the emotion move through you and it will dissipate. When you review them in the light of day, many may even seem laughable.

Another antidote to fear is trust. Trust in the new positive choices you are making and the new beliefs you are incorporating. Trust in the love and grace of the Universe and the power of your heart and mind. Trust that you are on a co-creative journey, that there is a bigger picture, and that there is love, help and guidance available to you in every moment. Trust that the Universe wants you to have what you desire as much as you do. Trust that you are loved more than you know.

When you fear you try to control life, people and events, which never works, whereas trust enables openness, an ability to receive and flow that makes life the graceful dance it was always meant to be.

Trust invites the sweet anticipation of positive realities which alone is a joy to experience, and with that bright expectation, the likelihood of experiencing such favourable circumstances is, of course, enhanced.

Dwell in positive expectation and pleasurable pondering rather than fretting or fearing. Bask in your dreams, not your dreads. Love also assuages fear. Love joins, heals, mends and ends separation, whether that be love for yourself or to or from another.

Love returns you to the truth of your worth and deserving, of your innocence and the innocence of others. Through the eyes of love the world is safe and loving.

Of course, when you clear the beliefs that lie behind many of your fears, they simply disappear, and are replaced with trust, positive thoughts and happy expectations.

"Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small."
- Ruth Gendler

Love and joy, Aine Belton www.beliefbusterkit.com www.intuitionzone.com www.mmmprogram.com

(Click Here for the Belief Buster Kit)

As said, excellent stuff. Thanks again Ms. "Master" Belton.

Thanks.

I appreciate you!

 

 

 

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