from BeliefBusters for The 90-Day Challenge.
This is a piece I first wrote years ago and have kept it alive because it's message keeps coming around on the guitar again and again. Another way of saying that is that people in my coaching programs continue to be "demand"for it.
There is one of two fundamental beliefs running the operating system of your human computer. Find out which one is yours, and you'll be aware of when it's controlling your hardware & software. Once you are aware, you're in a position to change what's in control and able CHOOSE how & who you will be in a given situation.
Easier said than done and... this IS what there is to do.
______________________________
Self-Improvement: The Kingpin
Your kingpin is a fundamental belief you have about you. It is the
result of an experience you had a young child, what you told yourself
about that and your habitual thinking that thought over your lifetime.
The same way you created this belief, this habit of thought—by
consistent and persistent repetition over time—you can create a new
habit of thought, one that empowers instead of sabotages you... one
that inspires you to action instead of holding you back.
—————————————————————
In the 19th century Pacific Northwest of Canada and the United States,
logging was a way of life and a very big business. The wood built and
fueled the new nation into a world power. Lumberjacks felled the great
trees by hand in the winter, sawed them into appropriate lengths (which
was called bucking) and "skidded" the huge tree trunks on sleds drawn
by mules or oxen out of the forest to the nearest frozen river.
Please remember this was long before 18 wheel trucks, much less the huge Sikorsky helicopters the timber industry employs today.
After the spring thaw, these tremendous logs would simply be floated
downstream to the sawmill, which was by the ocean where tall ships
would distribute the lumber around the country and the world.
Inevitably, this massive parade would become paralyzed. The result was called a logjam.
What a quandary that must have been: Hundreds, even thousands of logs
each one weighing many tons and the whole thing stretching, sometimes
for miles, back up river, a tangle of giant timbers stuck solid; going
nowhere—fast.
But the loggers were undaunted. They knew a simple, yet powerful, secret.
There was one tree trunk—and always only one—which was holding the
entire logjam in place. They name they had for it was the "kingpin."
All the lumberjacks had to do was locate the kingpin, pry it loose, and
the entire mass of locked-up logs would be free, flowing on it's way
again down stream to the sawmill.
You and I have a kingpin too: One huge three-ton-toothpick holding back
our talents, skills, abilities, values and dreams, keeping us apart and
away from genuine success and satisfaction in every area of our life
and work.
Your kingpin is a fundamental belief you have about you—actually at this point in your life, it's no longer a belief you have...
It is a belief that has you.
A belief is a thought—good or bad—that you have been thinking often and
consistently enough that it has become a habit. A belief is simply a
habit of thought.
Your kingpin is the result of just such habitual thinking. And the same
way you created this belief, this habit of thought, by consistent and
persistent repetition over time... you can create a new habit of
thought, one that empowers instead of sabotages you and holds you back.
Your Kingpin is lodged in your subconscious mind.
So, want to know what it is...?
Good! Let's get right to it.
What you say in response to the following fill-in-the-blank quiz is
Your Kingpin. Wiggle this one log lose and a veritable cascade of
creativity will carry you effortlessly down your stream of
consciousness to the fulfillment of your desires, dreams and destiny.
Although there may be variations on the theme, your answer will come in
one of two favorite flavors:
Quantity or Quality. You are always in
pursuit of either
more... or better....
So, complete the following statement:
No matter what I do, it's never ___________.
No matter what I do, it's never enough.
No matter what I do, it's never good enough.
Take your pick. It
WILL be one or the other—and the various variations...
Are you always in a state of overwhelm where there's
never enough time to complete all you have to do?
Try as you might to please your family or associates they always demand more—it's
never enough.
Are you struggling financially barely getting by on the income you
dreamed of making just a few short years ago—will you ever have enough
money?
More, more, more...
No matter what I do, it's never enough.
Or how about this and these...
You give the best sales presentation of your career, and the prospect says, "I'll think about it."
You've been working on that letter, report, ad or article for weeks now, and it's still not right.
You've read all the books, heard all the tapes, you've attended every
workshop since you began your self-development quest years ago. You've
done everything the experts and gurus said to do and you're still not
there yet. "No matter what I do, it's
never good enough."
Better, better, better...
No matter what I do, it's never good enough.
And where did all
that come from you ask...? (And thanks so much for asking;-)
Once upon a time—one very specific long ago moment back when you were
somewhere between one and 10 years old—something happened. It may have
been the most innocent of non-events or a card-carrying life or death
situation. It REALLY doesn't matter.
That was the first instant when you realized the world wasn't listening
to you. You learned that it wasn't safe to tell the truth... to be who
you really are. In that moment, you saw life as a struggle, literally
for your "self's" survival. You knew right then and right there that
the world looked at you as either
not enough or
not good enough no
matter what you did.
In that single moment, you made a fundamental decision. You decided how
you had to think, feel and act to safely and successfully navigate the
stormy seas of life as you had just experienced and interpreted them to
be.
It wasn't the
truth, but you didn't know that. You were just a
child—possibly frightened, probably in pain—a hurt little kid looking
for a way to love and be loved.
Your goals were simple: to stay safe; to find a way to be as much of
your authentic self as you could risk being and have
that be okay with
the world around you and the people who lived in it. You became a
chameleon. You started living a lie.
You had just created your false self.
What is most amazing is that this decision made in the mind of a scared
little kid is running the lives of almost every (think 99.969%) adult
on the planet. No matter what culture, what circumstances, what
whatevers, inside each of our subconscious minds, is a heaped-on
history of this past negative programming.
I'm never enough (I need to be
more), or I'm never good enough (I need
to be
better) is your false self 's primary motivation. It is what
drives us, especially in stressful situations, facing difficult
emotional decisions, whenever "the heat's on."
The good news... doesn't have to be that way. You can change it.
______________________________
Click this link to download a PDF copy of The Kingpin.
Thanks.
I appreciate you!
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