"We don't learn anything just by reading..."

"We don't learn anything just by reading..." Mr. Majer said.

Oh my... That's too bad. Wasted a lot of years thinking I did <smile>

And isn't that a "Shoot yourself in the foot" thing for an author to say?

If you're interested in learning more about that remark, here's a clip of a Conversation I did a ways (not long) ago with Chris Majer about his book The Power To Transform exploring a number of the concepts in the book.

Click the player below to listen to the (03:37) Mp3: 

C04-ChrisMajer-Preview02(Learning:Distinctions:Action)

To listen/download via the url: Click here.

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Please, let me know what you think of what Chris had to say in the Comments box...

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Take an Adult Time-Out

When you were in kindergarten, did the teacher have a "Time-out chair"— a place a child was sent to sit alone & quietly for about five minutes when he or she misbehaved or "broke the rules" in some way?

I'm 60+, so I came along before that idea took its present shape. We were simply told to go stand in the corner— those of us who didn't have a tennis ball thrown at our heads or have Sister Mary Margret Machette rap us on the knuckles with a ruler. Surely, it is a kinder & gentler & safer world for children today— as well as more "politically correct" and parentially enlightened.

Enough backstory. As with the kindergartener's chair, an "Adult Time-Out" is a  five-minute go away to a place & space sans every distraction you can manage; quiet, no other sounds (as best you can).

You do NOT have to be "bad," or break any rules or misbehave to take an Adult Time-out. But if you have been, it's a perfect thing to do. It's useful any time you get "off center" or even just to refresh and re-align yourself during the day.

You can do it standing (recommended) or sitting (just fine). Standing is recommended because your skelton is doing it's whole-body job, instead of your butt doing a half-as... You got the idea. <smile>

If you stand, do so with feet shoulder's width apart, knees slightly flexed NOT locked, arms hanging at your sides comfortably. You might want to roll your shoulders & shake out your arms and legs first, just to get loose & relax.

If you're sitting, do so with feet flat on the floor, arms positioned so as NOT to have your shoulders hunched up in any way; palms up or down, on your thighs or in your lap. Most importantly, back straight and eyes level aimed at the horizon.

Game is, "assume the position" and begin to breathe in and out... slowly... naturally... deeply (as you can), but gently (do NOT force your breathing). And breathe from your center, what the Japansese call your "Hara," a palm's width below your navel half way between your back and your front, and centered left to right.

As you breathe, FOCUS your attention on your breathing: In... Out... In... Out... In... Out... Again, breathe from your center and be AWARE of breathing from your center.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Five minutes. An "Adult Time-out."

Some hints: You WILL get distracted with thoughts other than In... & Out... Just let them go. If they get too "sticky," just let that go. Let go. Let GOD, if that's your style.

& I HIGHLY recommend you have a timer. If I don't have a timer, I get all busy thinking about how long its been, how much more time to go and that fakaka. My timer came from Amazon and cost $10 and change. Unfortunately, as soon as my wife Katyusha saw mine she wanted one for her & the kids to time their music lessons... and one for the kitchen... and one for measuring our sex lives... Okay, the last one was a joke (I hope <smile).

So... that's the deal. I won't share now how my Adult Time-out are going. Later— after I hear from you about yours.

Please, let me know how this goes for you.

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7 Power Questions For Your Transformation

Taking The Power To Transform seriously is hard work.

I don't think I'd get any argument from any of the folks I know who are engaged in its' study. "Hard work" is obviously an assessment, and as such OPENS and CLOSES possibilities. I like working hard, because it feels good and the way I have it— life— wired, hard work is required to achieve any thing (relationships, wealth, success, transformation, even fun...) worthwhile.

One example of what I "mean" by hard work are the questions below.

In the Mentor-Coaching program, we have Call Partners who ask and answer a set of questions with each other daily. The questions that follow are from that Call Partnership.

What they do is to focus on a riggorous examination of a given assessment. Besides becoming more clear about THAT one assessment itself, it's great training in becoming competent as an observer; present, connected and open to learning at a new and (I say) higher level about yourself and the world and how to operate (with both) with increasing freedom & power.

Were you (any of you & me) to make the time every day to pick one assessment, any assessment, and put it through its' paces below... in a very short time you would improve your competence in the domain of handling assessments and shaping them to serve & empower your vision & goals. Have at it.

Name one assessment you have about you and briefly describe what makes that limiting or liberating for you.

Who first delivered that assessment to you and when?

Where does that assessment exist in your body?

What possibilities does that assessment open for you?

What possibilities does that assessment close for you?

What will you do differently after looking deeper at this assessment?

What makes that useful & valuable for you?

Please, let me know what YOU think and if you use the questions, how that goes for you.

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Is Your Kingpin "Domain Specific?"

This is very cool!

In my one-on-one call with Rita today, the lady who has at times held on to the assessment of "Not being all that smart," came up with this bit of brilliance.

It started with Rita asking a classic (for me) question about Your Kingpin (click the link to read the original post) being an either/or deal. I.e.;

No matter what I do it's never enough.

OR...

No matter what I do it's never good enough.

So, I launched into my years of practiced & perfected rap about looking and seeing what you're most accostomed to wanting: More, more, more... Or, Better, better, better and that'll tell you in no uncertain terms which of the two runs you— AND, you can be sure it's ONE or the other. NOT both.

Then lovely Rita Meter Maid (no doubt inspired by the Hey Jude lyrics above, "Better, better, better..." pipes up with, "Well, is that Domain Specific?"

Dear Lord girl! Absolutely, Britishly brilliant!

Everything else is Domain Specific: Assessments, "Enemies of Learning," Competencies... So, why not Your Kingpin?

I love it! Old dog. New trick. Thanks Rita.

Please, let me know what YOU think.

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Transforming the World of Network Marketing

Here's a recent comment. Thought I'd reply in the blog itself. It's from a new friend, Phil Eldred. We spoke on the telephone about another book Phil was interested in and had ordered from me as an eBook, Breaking The Rules, by Kurt Wright. Here's Phil's comment:

Based on your personal recommendation, I have ordered Chris Majer's book The Power To Transform! I've been watching the videos on his HP2 site and I am blown away by the new commitment-based learning and management methods that he presents.

My passion at this stage of my life is to truly make a difference in the lives of people by helping them make positive transformational changes.

My question to you, John, is: How do you envision using these new methodologies to improve performance in the world of Network Marketing?

All the Best, "Dr. Phil" Eldred

My ioft' misplaced sense of humor had me call him "Dr. Phil." That he enjoyed it was a good thing (he IS a PhD, so...) Okay, to reply:

Good & interesting question, Phil— and one I've given no thought to until you asked.

With the given that transformation is a huge, powerful & positive contribution to anybody's life & work, tat alone would be enough of a benefit. For Network Marketers, which I assert is THE most people-focused business model where personal & professional growth & development has a fundamental role in both individual and team success, I believe this work would be... well... transformational.

Following along with the practices presented in the book, I'd immediately ask: What possibilities would this work OPEN for Network Marketers... and what possibilities would it CLOSE?

I'll let those questions dangle for a day or so (in the hopes that all who read this ask & answer for themselves) before I chime in <smile>

Thanks for asking Dr. Phil.

Please, let me know what you think.

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Your Pattern-Recognition Software

"Your mind is a highly evolved, highly effective pattern-recognition device. It is also extremely lazy, very resistant to change, and deeply committed to being right and playing it safe. It tends to operate on a series of what we call conditioned responses, as they are an effective survival mechanism. Unfortunately, while conditioned responses serve hunters well, they severely limit our ability to expand our awareness in the modern world."
— Chris Majer
The Power To Transform

Whether you subscribe to the African origin hypothesis, which argues that Homo sapiens arose in Africa and migrated out of the continent around 100,000 to 200,000 years ago, or support the alternative multiregional hypothesis, which asserts that Homo sapiens evolved as geographically separate but interbreeding populations stemming from a worldwide migration of Homo erectus out of Africa nearly 2.5 million years ago, humans have been around for quite some time.  

Given that (and those two different points of view), we the people spent somewhere between 90,000 and 2,490,000 years hunting & gathering as primative primates. By some accounts, our biology remains 99.979 percent the same as that with which our ancestors were gifted. And that includes our brain & our mind.

Use your imagination for just a bit and compare your life & work to the lives and daily "To do" list of our ancestors.

What possibilities does our 50,000 year old pattern-recognition software and its conditioned responses operating our human computer open... and what possibilities does it close?

Please, let me know what you think.

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"I can't..." versus "I choose not to."

Ever say that...

"I can't."

Mr. Majer said,

"... the declaration "I choose not to" is infinitely more powerful than "I can't."

"I can't" suggests some outside limitation or obstacle, and the weight of history says that these obstacles exist only in the mind.

"I can't" is ultimately a victim statement.

"I can't tends to produce a feeling, however slight [but usually not slight at all], of helplessness.

I say, "When I choose to, or choose not to," my choice speaks to my willingness (or no) and not my inherent ability. I am able to do just about anything (and most all of what I do not know how to do I can learn to do). I am willing to do what I choose to do. Rightly or wrongly, my choice gives ME the freedom & control in my life.

Please, let me know what you think.

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What If Transformation Was Inevitable?

I'm finding something happening with The Power To Transform I RRReally like, and value, and think is a great benefit. I'll explain:

In my book, The Greatest Networker in the World, I wrote about about our positive & negative beliefs and how it was as if we had a set of balance scales in our minds that held these beliefs.

For many or most of us, the side with the critical beliefs (the one with "I can't, I'm not, I'll never..." and the like) is fuller, lower and more weighed down than the positive, encouraging side of the scale. And I said that we can shift the balance of our scales by adding new, more empowering beliefs to the other side. In and over time, with focused effort, our scales will change dramatically with our positive, encouraging beliefs becoming more dominant and we'll take more & better actions that benefit us.

I'm finding a similar kind of thing happening in terms of learning and becoming more competent with some of the distinctions in The Power To Transform. There's a natural, organic evolution ocurring in my ability to "catch" critical assessments and discard them in the moment, choosing instead to make assessments that open & close the possibilities I'm really after.

My awareness is increasing, I'm making more assessments that lead to positive action than those that keep me in patterns of negative behavior & critical (angry, pessimistic, defeatist, gloomy, cynical, fatalistic, dismissive, antipathetic, apathetic, anxious, unenthusiastic, uninterested, unresponsive...) mental judging. (Quite the list, don'cha' think? <smile>)

Shorter story: I'm beginning to think (assess and therefore act) more like I want to; more open, present, connected, centered, positive, in and with choice, and less of those things on the "nasty" list above.

I believe this is a direct consequence of being engaged in this work & study daily.

And if I'm correct, it means that the light at the end of the tunnell isn't Newark, New Jersey (<smile> with apologies to all 278,154 men and women living 8 miles (13 km) west of Manhattan and loving it). It means honest-to-goodness and Godness Transformation is... inevitable.

And that's very cool.

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Your Kingpin - A Fundamental Self-Assessment

This is a piece I first wrote years ago and have kept it alive because it's message keeps coming around on the guitar again and again.

There is one of two fundamental beliefs running the operating system of your human computer. Find out which one is yours, and practice being aware of when it's controlling your hardware & software. Once you are aware, you're in a position to change what's in control and able to CHOOSE how & who you will act in a given situation.

Easier said than done and... this IS what there is to do.

For students of The Power To Transform, keep in mind & body while reading what's below the idea that a belief, no matter how deeply rooted, is an assessment: Neither true nor false. Made up. Not real. But powerful, because as we've learned...

We act out of our assessments.

Through working with The Power To Transform, I now accept that beliefs are habits of assessment and changing my beliefs will require awareness, choice, being accountable, honestly, comitment and above all, deliberate & determind practice.

Please review the following with the distinctions you're learning from The Power To Transform. May shed new light on an old subject <smile> And of course, I'd love to learn what you get from all of this.

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Self-Improvement: The Kingpin
Your kingpin is a fundamental belief you have about you. It is the result of an experience you had a young child, what you told yourself about that and your habitual thinking that thought over your lifetime. The same way you created this belief, this habit of thought—by consistent and persistent repetition over time—you can create a new habit of thought, one that empowers instead of sabotages you... one that inspires you to action instead of holding you back.

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In the 19th century Pacific Northwest of Canada and the United States, logging was a way of life and a very big business. The wood built and fueled the new nation into a world power. Lumberjacks felled the great trees by hand in the winter, sawed them into appropriate lengths (which was called bucking) and "skidded" the huge tree trunks on sleds drawn by mules or oxen out of the forest to the nearest frozen river.
 
Please remember this was long before 18 wheel trucks, much less the huge Sikorsky helicopters the timber industry employs today.
 
After the spring thaw, these tremendous logs would simply be floated downstream to the sawmill, which was by the ocean where tall ships would distribute the lumber around the country and the world.
 
Inevitably, this massive parade would become paralyzed. The result was called a logjam.
 
What a quandary that must have been: Hundreds, even thousands of logs each one weighing many tons and the whole thing stretching, sometimes for miles, back up river, a tangle of giant timbers stuck solid; going nowhere—fast.
 
But the loggers were undaunted. They knew a simple, yet powerful, secret.

There was one tree trunk—and always only one—which was holding the entire logjam in place. They name they had for it was the "kingpin."

All the lumberjacks had to do was locate the kingpin, pry it loose, and the entire mass of locked-up logs would be free, flowing on it's way again down stream to the sawmill.
 
You and I have a kingpin too: One huge three-ton-toothpick holding back our talents, skills, abilities, values and dreams, keeping us apart and away from genuine success and satisfaction in every area of our life and work.

Your kingpin is a fundamental belief you have about you—actually at this point in your life, it's no longer a belief you have...

It is a belief that has you.
 
A belief is a thought—good or bad—that you have been thinking often and consistently enough that it has become a habit. A belief is simply a habit of thought.
 
Your kingpin is the result of just such habitual thinking. And the same way you created this belief, this habit of thought, by consistent and persistent repetition over time... you can create a new habit of thought, one that empowers instead of sabotages you and holds you back.
 
Your Kingpin is lodged in your subconscious mind.
 
So, want to know what it is...?
 
Good! Let's get right to it.
 
What you say in response to the following fill-in-the-blank quiz is Your Kingpin. Wiggle this one log lose and a veritable cascade of creativity will carry you effortlessly down your stream of consciousness to the fulfillment of your desires, dreams and destiny.
 
Although there may be variations on the theme, your answer will come in one of two favorite flavors: Quantity or Quality. You are always in pursuit of either more... or better....
 
So, complete the following statement:

No matter what I do, it's never ___________.

No matter what I do, it's never enough.

No matter what I do, it's never good enough.

Take your pick. It WILL be one or the other—and the various variations...
 
Are you always in a state of overwhelm where there's never enough time to complete all you have to do?
 
Try as you might to please your family or associates they always demand more—it's never enough.
 
Are you struggling financially barely getting by on the income you dreamed of making just a few short years ago—will you ever have enough money?

More, more, more...

No matter what I do, it's never enough.

Or how about this and these...
 
You give the best sales presentation of your career, and the prospect says, "I'll think about it."
 
You've been working on that letter, report, ad or article for weeks now, and it's still not right.
 
You've read all the books, heard all the tapes, you've attended every workshop since you began your self-development quest years ago. You've done everything the experts and gurus said to do and you're still not there yet. "No matter what I do, it's never good enough."

Better, better, better...

No matter what I do, it's never good enough.

And where did all that come from you ask...? (And thanks so much for asking;-)
 
Once upon a time—one very specific long ago moment back when you were somewhere between one and 10 years old—something happened. It may have been the most innocent of non-events or a card-carrying life or death situation. It REALLY doesn't matter.
 
That was the first instant when you realized the world wasn't listening to you. You learned that it wasn't safe to tell the truth... to be who you really are. In that moment, you saw life as a struggle, literally for your "self's" survival. You knew right then and right there that the world looked at you as either not enough or not good enough no matter what you did.
 
In that single moment, you made a fundamental decision. You decided how you had to think, feel and act to safely and successfully navigate the stormy seas of life as you had just experienced and interpreted them to be.
 
It wasn't the truth, but you didn't know that. You were just a child—possibly frightened, probably in pain—a hurt little kid looking for a way to love and be loved.
 
Your goals were simple: to stay safe; to find a way to be as much of your authentic self as you could risk being and have that be okay with the world around you and the people who lived in it. You became a chameleon. You started living a lie.

You had just created your false self.

What is most amazing is that this decision made in the mind of a scared little kid is running the lives of almost every (think 99.969%) adult on the planet. No matter what culture, what circumstances, what whatevers, inside each of our subconscious minds, is a heaped-on history of this past negative programming.
 
I'm never enough (I need to be more), or I'm never good enough (I need to be better) is your false self 's primary motivation. It is what drives us, especially in stressful situations, facing difficult emotional decisions, whenever "the heat's on."
 
The good news... doesn't have to be that way. You can change it.

______________________________

Click this link to download a PDF copy of The Kingpin.

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Energy Follows Attention

When you put all of your attention on attacking your self, that is where your energy goes, and this will only exacerbate a bad situation and make you feel worse. As Mr. Majer says...

Calling your emotional travel agent and booking a guilt trip is just a waste of time.

Assessing yourself as "bad" carries a nasty, negative moralistic overtone that truly serves no purpose. Look at what that "bad" assessment OPENS and at what it CLOSES.

In the end, there are no bad choices; your choice either produces a desired or an unwanted result.

from The Power To Transform
— Chris Majer

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You Always Have a Choice

The most fundamentally powerful declaration an individual can make is also the most basic:

             I always have a choice.

If you look at your life from that declarative space, then you will see that everything you are, everything that you do, everything that you have, is the direct and sole result of the countless choices you have made during the course of your life.

You choose your attitudes, opinions, beliefs, behavior, points of view and responses to life. You choose your career path and your particular job. You choose all of your relationships and the condition of your relationships. Through your choices regarding eating, drinking, smoking and exercise, you have chosen the state of your health, your bodily shape and appearance, and, to a significant degree, the length of your life.

Ultimately, your entire life is a result of the choices you have made.

from The Power To Transform
— Chris Majer

Let me know what you think.

PS. You did notice the little person is doing the two step... yes? <smile>

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Mastery— Not a Goal. Rather, a Process, or Journey.

There's a chart or graph in The Power To Transform that displays the Levels of Competence— a stair step progression that goes up from your Comfort Zone to Self-declared ignorance to Beginner, Novice, Competent, Proficient, Virtuoso and finally Master.

On our Mentor-Coaching Call last night Katyusha spoke about the goal of achieving Mastery of being Centered (and how she wanted to pass that along to her children). A worthy goal, both of them, but I was concerned it was not realistic and in fact, could be counter productive— leading to negative assessments of falling short and frustration.

That conversation brought to mind a favorite passage I read back in the late 80s in Esquire magazine from a ppiece penned by George Leonard. Here's that piece:

Mastery
It resists definition, yet can be instantly recognized. It comes in many variations, yet follows certain unchanging laws. It makes us, in the words of the Olympic motto, faster, higher, stronger,” yet is not really a goal or a destination, but rather a process, or journey.
 
We call this journey mastery and tend to assume that it requires a special ticket available only to those born with exceptional abilities. But mastery is not reserved for the super-talented, or even for those who are fortunate enough to have gotten an early start. It is available to anyone who is willing to get on the path and stay on it — regardless of age, sex, or experience.
 
The problem is that we have few, if any, maps to guide us on the journey or even to show us how to find the path. The modern world can be viewed as a prodigious conspiracy against mastery. We are bombarded with promises of fast, immediate gratification, and immediate, and instant success, all of which lead in exactly the wrong direction.…
 
The master’s journey can begin whenever you decide to learn any new skill —  how to touch-type, how to play the piano, how to fly a plane. But it achieves a special poignancy, a quality akin to poetry or drama, in the fields of sports, where muscles, mind and spirit come together in graceful and purposeful movements through space and time. In sports, especially competitive sports, there also exists the greatest temptation to take shortcuts towards quick results in performance and winning rather than staying on the path to mastery.
 
Playing For Keeps: The art of mastery in sport and life.
Edited by George Leonard, Esquire, May 1987

Let me know what you think of it.

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Learning Revisited— again, and again, and again...

I find my self going back again and over again re-reading & studying the early chapters in The Power To Transform I've already read— so far, sometimes, many times. The negative assessment I had at the ready was I was doing it "wrong."

"Had... was..." I selected a better assessment— one that serves & empowers me & my process. Shared with you here just in case, like me, you had the right/wrong thought about your own learning process.

In the last years of college I was dating Victoria Maria Teresa... (and on and on went her name), the oldest daughter of a former Cuban aristocrat (former in that Castro was now in power and he had left Cuba on the last plane out— with Batista no less). Dr. Antinio Valdes Dapena taught me to play billiards.

NOT pool. Billiards. No pockets, only three balls— a cue ball and one red and one white object ball (your opponents cue ball). The object of the game was to strike your cue ball and hit both object balls. When you did you got one point. The winner with the most poiints... won the game.

As I learned how to play the game I was taught a number of basic shots: The break shot, straight shot, one, two & three cushion shots. I practiced untill I was pretty competent at one kind of shot, then moved on to the next, became good at thet one, then moved on to the next.

By the time I got to practicing the third kind of shot, I found I'd become "rusty" at the first one. So, I went back and practiced that one again until I was as good or better than I'd been before, then moved on to shot number two, then three— bringing my skill back to an acceptable level with each kind of shot before moving to the next.

This pattern persisted as I learned more & more different shots (and there are a ton to learn and get good at). It was a kind-of one step forward, three (or more) steps back deal. Eventually I became proficient at the who arsenal of basic & advanced billiard shots and was a billiard player. Good. Never great. Proficient was my goal and I was that.

I'm doing a similar thing with my study of The Power To Transform. It works for me. Each time I return to the chapter on language, or the enemies of learning, or centering, or awareness... I "see" it with new enough eyes that something new comes into view.

I'm guessing & assessing that's because having increased my competence in those domains through practice I'm now more able to take a deeper cut at those previous distinctions. I suspect that will continue to increase throughout the book, given that Mastery is a life-ling journey, rather than a done-deal destination.

Again, for me at the moment, it's NOT Transformation I'm after... It's The POWER To Transform, when & where I need, want & choose.

Let me know what you think.

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The Power To Transform Video with Chris Majer

Chris Majer is the founder and CEO of the Human Potential Project. In this video, he talks about his book The Power to Transform in his own words.

What if you could design your future instead of waiting for life to happen to you? The Power to Transform teaches you the strategies that corporate, military, and sports leaders have used to do just that for themselves and their organizations. Chris Majer has designed large scale transformational programs for the US Army, and Marine Corps, Amgen, AT&T, Microsoft, Intel, Allianz, and Capital One, and a host of others, all of which have seen measurable and dramatic increases in their performance and profits.

In The Power to Transform, Majer tailors his program the individual, sharing the methods he has developed for athletes and businesses for over two decades that have made him one of the leading innovators in the field.

 

 

Bottom line: Learning, "Authentic Learning", is the development of new competence, NOT aquiring new information or even new awareness & understanding, which is what most all of the books, tapes and even weekend workshops in the "Self Help" field offer & accomplish.

And, there is one and only one way to develop new competence: Deliberate & determined practice over time.

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Opinion be damned

Revisiting an old friend for another round of insight on the business of "opinion" (assessments, judgments, interpretations, etceteras...).

Once there was a man,–
Oh, so wise!
In all drink
He detected the bitter,
And in all touch
He found the sting.
At last he cried thus:
“There is nothing,–
No life,
No joy,
No pain,–
There is nothing save opinion,
And opinion be damned.”
— Stephen Crane 

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Open & Close

There are many "powers" explored in The Power To Transform. One of the most powerful for me is/are the questions: 

What possiibilities does this OPEN?

What possibilities does this CLOSE?

The "this" in the question is always an assessment— an opinion, observation, interpretation, point of view. Yours or the world's. Neither true nor false. As the dictionary defines; "the evaluation or estimation of the nature, quality, or ability of someone or something." Made up. Always.

AND, we act out of our assessments. Again, always.

So depending on our assessments, we take action that OPENS possibilities and that CLOSES possibilities.

NOT right or wrong.
NOT good or bad.

Simply OPEN or CLOSE.

For example: My assessment that a task at hand will be "hard work," OPENS the possibility of challenge, the necessity of determination & focus, effort, perhaps even struggle and a sense of overcoming obstacles and the payoff of pride & accomplishment from a job-well-done when I deal with it successfully.

That "hard work" assessment CLOSES the possibilities of ease and effortlessness, brings into question my abilities and competence, and may even (as in probably) inhibit my willingness to undertake the task at all.

Because assessments are all & always made up, is there/are there other assessments I can make up and "hold" that will OPEN & CLOSE new and more empowering possibilities?

That CHOICE is mine IF I have the awareness that it's available to me.

That's THE Power To Transform. I find great freedom in this.

Whatdaya' think?

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What it's NOT about...

What it— this whole business of Transformation— is not about is being perfect, nor any variation on that theme.

It's not about always being aware, centered, present, connected, competent, committed... It's about being in a place & space where you can call upon any of those things and bring them to the here & now as distinctions & tools you use to act "for the highest good of yourself & all concerned."

So what this IS about, is being aware enough and competent enough with the distinctions & tools of Transformation to always be in a place of choosing what you will think & feel & what action you will take at any time.

I think The Power To Transform is about being able to transform in the moment. That's THE power.

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Developing Awareness

 

In order to change yourself, you must first be able to see yourself. Developing awareness means becoming a more competent observer of yourself and your world.

To affect change you must begin with a deeper, more honest awareness of yourself and how you operate in the world.
— Chris Majer
The Power To Transform

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The Daily "Call Partner" Questions

I'm firing things up here a bit helter-skelter at the moment. Short goal being having the material here to refer back to— for both you & me. Hence... what follows today.

A big part of our team's work with The Power To Transform occurs as we do the daily Call Partner Questions. How it works is that on Monday I'll ask the questions and listen as you answer. On Tuesday we switch and you ask me. Then I'm back asking you on Wednesday and so on, back-and-forth. 

I though it worthwhile to post the questions here today. As I said, so I can refer to them in future posts AND for you to use them if you choose. My very strong advice is to only do them with someone else who's studying the book, because most of the unique distinctions assessment and enemies of learning are right out of the book and need some explanation.

The Call Partner Questions
 
1. What's the best choice you've made in the past week... and
    what makes that valuable for you?
 
2. Name one positive assessment you have about you and briefly
    describe what makes that empowering for you.
 
3. Who first delivered that assessment to you and when?
 
4. Where does that assessment exist in your body?
 
5. What possibilities does that assessment open for you?
 
6. What possibilities does that assessment close for you?
 
7. Name one negative assessment you have about you and briefly
    describe what makes that limiting for you.
 
8. Who first delivered that assessment to you and when?
 
9. Where does that assessment exist in your body?
 
10. What possibilities does that assessment open for you?
 
11. What possibilities does that assessment close for you?
 
12. Name one of the enemies of learning you've encountered this
      week and briefly describe what you noticed about that.
 
13. What will it take for you to gain greater competence in that
      domain?
 
14. What's one thing you're learning from working with this week's
      Assignment?
 
15. What makes that useful & valuable for you?
 
16. What will it take for you to gain greater competence in that
      domain?
 
17. What's one way that doing the Action&Accountability process
      with me today has made you more valuable?
 
Thank your Call Partner and let him/her know you appreciate them.

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The Enemies of Learning

The things that get in the way of learning are simply the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves in the domain of learning. In a former life, I called them beliefs— memories, beliefs, thoughts, habits of thought, attitudes, emotions, moods... whatever. What they ARE is a story we made up. And please be oh so clear about that last bit: "We made up." Not true. Not false. Just a story that we place a value of good, bad or indifferent upon.

Thing is we ACT (or not) out of those stories. We learn (or not) because of those stories.

Here are the enemies of learning Chris Majer lists in The Power To Transform.

1. Knowing — Learning enemy #1. "I already know that." Closes down the possibility of learning.

2. Unwilling to be a beginer — Beginners make mistakes, do it wrong and often look foolish. Not cool! Looking good & needing to be right kill learning anything.

3. We are blind to our blindness — The things that limit us are unseen by us. We need someone else to help us notice them. It's why GOD created coaches & (real) teachers.

4. Comfort zone — People crave comfort; intellectual, physical, emotionsl, spiritual comfort. Learning is NOT comfortable. Authentic learning and comfort are mutually exclusive.

5. Understanding — Like comfort, people crave it. When we understand an idea, we're safe, sure, certain. Any change brings with it unknowns. Just have to get used to that.

6. Opinions are NOT learning. Awareness is NOT competence — Opinions are assessments and as such are neither true nor false. Having an opinion is NOT knowing. And just because you are aware of something, doesn't mean you are able to achieve the results you're after. Most of "personal growth & development" processes give you increased awareness, but NOT increased competence.

7. The magic bullet — "I want it all & I want it now." Sorry Charlie. Learning doesn't work that way. Short cuts, fast food, magic pills & tonics are pretend & false in terms of authentic learning.

8 The essential role of the body — The mind understands. The body learns. And the body learns by determined & deliberate practice over time. No other way. (For example; the fear you need to overcome to make a sales call lives in the body.) Practice. Practice. Practice.

9. Novelty — much like the magic bullet or pill, always looking for the latest, greatest, best new way of doing things keeps the focused practice needed to achieve embodied competence off in the future, like the carrot dangling at the end of the stick.

10. Living in constant assessment — Like/don't like, agree/disagree, both close down possibilities for learning for there is nothing you don't already "know."

11. Characterization — we confuse the stories we make up about ourselves, others & the world with reality. "I can't... I'm too (old, young, stupid, smart...)" are all varriations on the underlying theme that there's something wrong with me, which chokes off learning.

We've all encountered these enemies of learning at some point. Usually, people have their "favorites," the ones that appear with regularity. Our enemies of learning are also "domain specific" in that they apply or appear in one area of life & work, but not necessarily in another. I.e; I may be full of assessments about who & how I am as a parent, but open to new possibilities as a writer.

More to come & go on the enemies of learning. Since learning is a life-long process, gaining competence in dealing with its enemies is also a long-term adventure.

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Embodied Competence

"Authentic learning is the process of developing what we call embodied competence. Embodied means you can take the new action without having to stop, think about it, or look it up in some book. The new action is ready at hand when needed. Competence is simply the capacity to consistently produce the desired result."
— Chris Majer
The Power To Transform

The true test of learning is whether you can concistently perform the new action. Until you can you haven't truly learned.

The way you accomplish learning a new action is through deliberate & determined practice. And in case you were wondering (and as a lover of the "short cut" I wondered & wandered right away <smile>), practice is the ONLY way.

Oh well <smile>. So much for achieving the goal of understanding, but not really learning. I've been doing that one for decades.

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Imagine the possibilities...

By necessity, I'm starting this in the middle— early in the book, at the beginning of "the work"— and for most of you reading this, it's going to be like taking a dance class or showing up at an Akido dojo for the first time. Everybody but you knows the moves, what's coming, what to do. You stand there looking around and akwardly emulating what the others are doing.

Not to worry. You'll get it. In time. Here goes...

"Imagine the Possibilities" was the tag-line Apple Computer used for the TV commercial which introduced the use of the Intel chip in their new Macintosh computer line in 2006.

In The Power To Transform, the "assessments" (opinions, judgments, thoughts, emotions, editorial comments, interpretations, etceteras...) we make up and/or accept either OPEN or CLOSE possibilities for taking action in our lives.

Open and Close are neither good or bad. Paraphrasing William Shakespeare...

There is nothing either good or bad but "assessment" makes it so. 

What our assessments do is OPEN some specific possibilites for action and CLOSE others. For example:

In working with one of my Mentor-Coaching people one-on-one today, we explored her question of "What's the value in going back to the earliest time you can remember someone making a given assessment about you?"

Rita had trained herself to leave the past behind, so going back to childhoold memories & experiences was a "Don't go there" for her.

Neither true nor false. Simply an assessment. Point is: What possibilities does that assessment OPEN and CLOSE? I.e.; "Go back and look at when that assessment first occurred & who delivered it?" What's the benefit of doing that?

Deal is (for starters), if you don't connect with that "early, first time," you cannot complete it. And things that are INcomplete drain your energy for moving forward. Think unpaid bills... communications wanted, but not made... promises un-kept... like that.

More? Yeah. The opportunity to come to terms with the "cause" of the assessment that you're acting out of. The knowing of whether or not the assessment is grounded or not, and your ability to MOVE one way or the other— based on that assessment.

I know. I know. Magical Mystery Tour. ("Roll up, roll up.") Hang in.

All assessments are neither TRUE nor FALSE. More of the deal is it's just an assessment. Cheaper than a dime a dozen and NOT meaning anything. All and always made up. Yet we ACT out of our assessments.

So... How do you want to act?

Assess this way or that way and...

Act Accordingly.

I know; clear as mud.

Gettable though. And transformational when you do <smile>
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You Don't LISTEN & You TALK Too Much! (Sample book cover)

And so it begins. A "sample" cover, from Dima (Dmitriy Konyushenko of NitroCovers.com) for my next book and new website to come. NOT chosen yet, but something along the lines of JohnMiltonFogg-Communication-Skills.com or Communication-Mastery.com).

So, whatdaya' think? (I.e.; like best about the cover?) Please, let me know.
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aGreatQuestion from Ken Keys Jr.

As said before, aGreatQuestion was a labor of love. My son Johnny and I worked on it/them together and that was a good to great part of the pleasure for me. But more was the passion that a GreatQuestion is simply a "great" project, because...

The Question is THE Answer

The more great questions we can ask ourselves & others, the more great answers & possibilities will open up in our lives.

So, here's the second one we did. Love to learn what you like best about it - AND where the question leads you.

Please, let me know what you think & feel.

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PS. If you ARE interested in enrolling in The Communication Workshop, you can, today, right on that front page. Scroll down. There's a bunch.

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Who knew...?

Who knew...?

Stanley Ipkiss is into transformation. "The Real Jim Carrey" indeed. Let me know what you think of this, please.

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Here's how to change what life is "giving" you.

Have you ever entertained the idea that your life was simply a reflection of yourself... that what and how you experienced any person, place or thing in a given moment was an echo of your own thoughts and feelings...?
 
Here's a story for you:

A father and his young son were walking in the mountains. Suddenly, the boy fell, hurt himself and hollered: 'Owwww!!!'
 
To his surprise, he heard his voice somewhere in the mountains repeating: 'Owwww!!!'
 
Curious, he yelled out: 'Who are you?'
 
He received the answer: 'Who are you?'
 
Angered by the response, he screamed: 'You coward....'
 
The answer came back: 'You coward....'
 
The boy looked to his father and asked: 'What's going on?'
 
His father smiled, then he yelled to the mountain: 'I admire you!'
 
The voice answered: 'I admire you.'
 
Again the man shouted: 'You are special!'
 
The voice answered: 'You are special.'
 
The little boy did not understand.

His father explained: 'People call this an ECHO, but really, this is LIFE.' It gives you back everything you think... and feel... and say... and do....

_____________________________

It's called the "Mirror Game."

I'll tell you more about it if you want. Let me know if that's so.

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Are you bored (and is that why you're reading this)...?

I have an assignment to complete for the 8-Week Blogging Workshop I'm taking & teaching with Bob Yeager. When the teacher is ready, the student appears. Quite the schizophrenic deal I've gotten myself into. <smile>
 
Our "homework" is to write a weblog entry and— I think I've got this right— to post it on our blog as well. I'm not sure, because Bob gave us the assignment (he didn't ask me about it). We have to complete the following sentence:
 
I believe most people are __________________ and off a-writing we go. 350 words worth. So...

I believe most people are (dramatic pause here) bored.

Bored. NOT as to have made a hole in something, except perhaps the empty gap in their lives.
 
Bored, as in; feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one's current activity.
 
Even though its got an "ed" on the end, the word bored isn't only past tense.

Okay, everything spoken about or written is always in the past. It's not happening now. It's only remembered now. The moment of creation is short-gone, but gone none the less.

That said, bored is in its greatest hoary glory when it's right here, right now, in your space & face bored.
 
I was chatting with the afore-mentioned Yägermeister a few days ago on this very subject. Being the Internet maven he be, Bob let loose with some Social media metrics.

"69% of all Facebook users," he said have said, "they post updates, likes & comment, because they are bored." That's 345 million people who have nothing compelling enough in their off-line lives to occupy and/or interest them. So for the sake of satisfaction & fulfillment they engage in drive-by postings on Facebook.
 
"May you live in interesting times," the Irish bless us. Indeed.
 
What does it— 100's of millions of bored people on-line— mean... really?
 
"Most men [and women, presumably]," Thoreau wrote in Walden, "lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
 
That was 147 years before Facebook.
 
What did all the bored people do then...?

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She's as real & natural as Cool Whip.

I have a person in my life & work whose formula for success is to be so nice... so very nice, no matter what.

Thing is, she "tastes" as real & natural as CoolWhip.

Thing is, I no longer believe her now, even when she "says" good things I want to, like to, love to hear.

What do you do with people who do that?

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What if your life was PERFECT... Now... Just As It Is?

Recycled, because I need & want to hear it for myself— trusting it will serve you as well. NOT the truth, necessarily, and... can be if you want it to or it's valuable & useful for you.

Kurt Wright is one of my Mentor-Coaches. He's the creator of "The Five Right Questions."

Kurt's the author of one of THE most profound & life-changing books I've ever read, Breaking The Rules. One of Kurt's missions in life and work is to offer you & me the opportunity to live & work free of judging— the good/bad, right/wrong "fault-finding" approach to life on Earth that at best gives us a roller-coaster ride of emotional highs and lows. And at worst, engages the Law of Attraction to provide us with a constant diet of bad tasting WHAT'S WRONG that always leads to a full body-mind-spirit dis-ease and disease that brings us down, down, down. 

Instead, Kurt offers the possibility a steady upward journey of energy-building fulfillment & joy that comes from finding VALUE in the PERFECTION of All That Is. How? By constantly looking at the world around and within us and asking WHAT'S RIGHT?

What's perfect about this...?

Intrigued? Good. Then listen to this.

Click the player below to listen to the (4:48) Mp3:

To listen/download via the url: Click here.

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Please, let me know what you think of what Kurt had to say in the Comments box...

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When I'm wrong, I... duck Amazing!

"Ask lousy questions, get lousy answers," Tony Robbins says, and follows with, "Ask great questions, get great answers." Yeah, well, NOT always.

I believe...

The Question is THE Answer

But there are just sometimes no matter how great your question is... well... Doh. Here:

Now, what would I do if I had this person in The Communication Workshop? I mean, besides issue an immediate refund... My heart goes out to her. Poor girl.

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