Friend— for more than Facebook— Tony Rush commented on my recent post, I say 'I am an ALCOHOLIC' because... I want to reply to that & Tony here, so... I will. <smile> In blue.
Thoughts that come to mind:
1. Firstly -- and foremost -- I love who you're choosing to be. You've always been an inspiration and -- even though I wasn't aware of your struggles with alcohol -- I'm inspired by your openness and your decision to deal with it.
You rock. :)
Thanks Tony. I appreciate that & you. The "open" part is actually pretty easy. It IS what happened and I'm aware that it serves some people. That's a good thing.
The other "good thing" about doing this is that it's a great way for me to learn, clarify & identify, my thoughts, feelings, memories & beliefs in the matter. That's— I say— required for me to move up & on.
All the above to say that this is in part a selfish enterprise <smile>. So it's GOT TO serve others or I'm toast (and I don't mean the ""Here's to you and here's to me, Friends may we always be! But, if by chance we disagree, Up yours! Here's to me!" kind of toast. <smile>)
2. Secondly, the mini- "are you an alcoholic quiz", if I were to put in the word "food" where you have the word "drink".....it would seem that one could make the argument that overeating is also a disease.
While that may well be true for a tiny minority....most of us who are overweight just aren't exercising the self-control required to manage our weight properly. At least I know that's true in my case.
"Self-control" is a wonderful bit. Alcohol does a biological/chemical dance that is quite different from most all other foods & drinks. So, that's kind of apples & kumquats. Alcoholics are subject to a physical craving and a mental obession— one NOT found in other drinkes of alcohol, even the heavy set (of course the pun was... <smile>)
Thing is Tony, YOU may NOT be able to control you're eating— mental obsession-wise. I don't know enough to know if there's any physical aspect, ala an allergy. I wouldn't think so, but...
If you use our Step 1. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." And ask yourself if that's true for you with food, perhaps that would provide some insight into your "condition."
So, I guess my thought is similar to Jeremiah's: what's the positive benefit to putting alcoholism in its own private little category of "choiceless addiction" away from other vices that are equally behavior-driven?
Because being alcoholic is not simply behavior driven. I'll bet you can have a glass of wine, or three (depending on the occasion) and STOP! I cannot. Those three glasses, become three bottles, sure as GOD made little green hard apple cider.
3. Two of the three steps that you've adopted for dealing with alcoholism apparently require you to believe in an invisible, supernatural being for whom no evidence exists and from which all his/her influences on our lives can be explained by other, rational, real-world causes.
I'm not making an argument for atheism at all. But, I have to ask: given the almost TOTAL IMPORTANCE of getting free of alcohol's reign on your life.....what's the thinking behind believing in supernaturalism as a means to that end?
From above (so below <smile>): "...require you to believe in an invisible, supernatural being for whom no evidence exists and from which all his/her influences on our lives can be explained by other, rational, real-world causes."
Oh my. I am way out of my league with you. Gosh, you ARE smart! (I admire you— always have.)
There are other "invisible, supernatural" things in my life "for whom [which] no [tangible, scientific test/microscope like] evidence exists." Best example I have (that we share) is LOVE for my kids. No idea how to "prove" its existence, but I know it's there... Powerfully there.
All I know is that I tried (and tried and tried and tried...) to quit drinking. Stopped for days, weeks, months (three was my personal best), yet always returned to the game— probably not all that oddly, drinking MORE than before. Might I do that again? Possible. And I doubt it. The whole feel... commitment... expectation... certainty (to use with care a word you taught me the real importance of).
Ala the mini-quiz, I could not not... Could not stick to any stated limit... Could not stop once I started... In the final year I woke up thinking about drinking... Worked my way up to two-to-three bottles a day... Was a complete (and devoted) ASSoholic— and all the belligerent, resentful, humilliating, mean-spirited, rude, pathetic professional & personal failure thoughts, feelings and aberant behaviors that went with that confirmed state of being.
Then... One day... I quit!
I know (read "I just KNOW.") GOD did it. Not me. It's a miracle. And I want more of 'em. (Hey, I'm still a greedy obsessive at heart <smile>)
NOT sure this will "help," but I offer it anyway. From the "Big Book:"
He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God-consciousness.”
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
I have faith in GOD. I have faith that we human beings are all GOD's children. And I have faith that my Heavenly Father kicked alcohol's ass on my behalf. If that's a rabbit's foot, I'm going to hang on to it for a while.
Thy WILL not my will be done, always & in all ways...
... is working for me.
Proud of you brother!
And THAT feels RRRReally good. Thanks.
Please, let me know what you think & feel in the Comments box...
I appreciate you!